Marriage Of Convenience
by highmaintenance
Summary: Louise Young is about to marry Franklin Burns. These are her thoughts before the ceremony. Oneshot


**DISCLAIMER: I don't own MASH at all. My parents were only 15 and 10 when it premiered making it impossible for me (or them) to own it.**

**I've had a morbid fascination with the Burns family lately and this story is no exception. Just a quick oneshot about Louise's feelings about her impending marriage to Ferret Face...um I mean Frank Burns. Please review my lovelies (spelling?).**

**BTW, Kat babe where have you gotten to? You haven't written to me in ages (cries). **

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Louise stared at herself in the full length mirror and sighed. Today was the day of her wedding to Franklin Burns. 

_I should be happy._ Louise thought but that was not the case.

Neither Louise nor Frank had any romantic feelings towards each other; this was a marriage of convenience for both parties.

Franklin was a snivelling chinless man with watery blue eyes and the personality of a potato and Louise knew for a fact that in his 24 years Franklin had only ever had one girlfriend before her.

With her curly brown hair, dull brown eyes and coke bottle glasses, Louise Young was not the most attractive woman but because of her wealth and status within Indiana she was very sought after.

Louise and Frank had met at a bingo game in the summer of '36 and because Frank knew about the Young fortune he asked the then 22 year old on a date.

The two dated for nine months each pretending to like the other. Frank needed Louise's money to pay for medical school (he had just dropped out of his first choice and needed more cash for the second). Also being a good Christian, Frank felt it was his duty to settle down and start a family.

Louise's feelings were much the same as Frank's (except the marrying for money aspect). She longed for children and as she got older, suitors were becoming scarce.

Frank proposed to Louise on his 24th birthday (April 13th). Louise smirked as she thought of how phoney her fiancé had sounded.

_Louise was treating Frank to dinner at a rather expensive restaurant in Indianapolis (they were staying there for the weekend). _

_Frank took hold of Louise's delicate hand and looked deeply into her eyes. Louise had to keep herself from laughing at the expression on her 'boyfriend's' face. It was one of fake sincerity._

'_Louise, my delicate little flower.' Frank began in his nasally drawl._

_Louise removed her hand from Frank's grip and folded them in her lap. 'Yes, Franklin?'_

'_Do you know what would be the best birthday present?'_

_Louise fought the urge to roll her eyes. 'What dear?'_

_Frank cleared his throat. 'The best present I could ever receive would be if you did me the honour of becoming my wife.'_

_It was obvious that Frank had rehearsed this speech but nevertheless Louise smiled. 'Of course I will Franklin.'_

_Frank's chinless face lit up and he leant in to kiss his fiancé's cheek._

_Louise cringed. 'Do I get a ring Franklin?'_

'_My dear, call me Frank.'_

_The brunette sighed. 'You didn't get a ring did you Frank?'_

'_Well you see Louise, I couldn't…afford one.' Frank's blue eyes were wide with fear and Louise couldn't help but feel sorry for him._

'_Don't fret, Frank, I'll buy one tomorrow.'_

A knock at the door brought Louise out of her reverie.

'Come in.' announced the brunette and her cousin Sarah poked her head through the door.

'The ceremony begins in five minute, Louise.'

Louise nodded. 'Okay, thank you.'

Sarah left as quickly as she had come. Louise took one last look at her reflection and sighed.

'Good bye life.'

Louise was refusing to smile which was in huge contrast to Frank who was grinning from ear to ear like a stupid little girl.

The chaplain began the ceremony.

'Do you, Franklin Marion Burns, take Louise Elizabeth Young to be your lawfully wedded wife? To love honour and obey, in sickness and in health for better or worse, for as long as you both shall live?'

Frank laughed his trademark giggle and replied. 'I do.'

The chaplain turned to Louise. 'And do you, Louise Elizabeth Young take Franklin Marion Burns to be your lawfully wedded husband? To love honour and obey, in sickness and in health for better or worse, for as long as you both shall live?'

_I could just run away right now. Come on Louise, turn around and run down the aisle and away from life with this sad excuse for a man. Come on, run!_

'I do.' Louise deadpanned.

The chaplain grinned. 'The rings please.'

They each placed one of Frank's cheap gold rings on one another's fingers.

'If anyone objects to this union, speak now or forever hold your peace.'

_Someone object darn it!_

'With the power invested in me I now pronounce you husband and wife. You may kiss the bride.'

Louise groaned inwardly but accepted a kiss from her new husband.

'Ladies and gentlemen, may I present, Mr and Mrs Franklin Burns!'

END

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**I hope I didn't make Louise out to be a bitch. I mean, how happy could she be if she was marrying Frank? **

**Remember to review this guys and tell me how you liked it!**


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